Busy!

The days are busy now.  There is much going on and even more waiting to be done!  I now have five baby Bluebirds that are 14 days old.  I don't open the door to the Bluebird house now - don't want them to come tumbling out! 

I have six baby Tree Swallows and five baby Purple Martins.  There are six more pair of Purple Martins that are nesting and should be laying eggs any day now. That will be a lot of babies!!!

Hannah, our wonderful English Bulldog, is at the Vets.  She has an eye ulceration that has to be treated eight times a day.  It takes three people to get the drops in her eye.  She will be having surgery tomorrow or Friday and then will be needing treatment for another week.  We miss her sooooo much!


We are having the trim and shutters on our house painted and hoping the painter gets finished sometime this summer! :-)  He is taking his good ol' time.  The expansion of our driveway should be finished by now, but the Contractor hasn't started yet...says he's been delayed by all the rain lately.  Our new sunroom should be about ready to get installed sometime early in June?  We'll see!

I wish things could always go smoothly and that time is something we could bend to our "will".  This isn't the reality, I know, but it doesn't hurt to dream!  I also wish people would do what they say they are going to do and "when" they say they're going to do it.  This, also, isn't reality.

Reality is waiting. 

Reality is being grateful that my plate is so full and that I have a plate to be full.

Reality is knowing that I love and am loved.  That I have food in my refrigerator and a comfortable bed in my bedroom - that I have protection from the heat and cold and the blessing of being able to make plans at all.

Reality hits me right in the face when I turn on the TV and see the devastation in Joplin, Missouri and other places, just in the last couple of days.

Reality can be harsh and it can be wonderful. 

What makes the difference? 

Me.

My attitude.

My acceptance of what "IS", rather than what I wish for.

My gratitude for what I have, rather than my sorrow at what I don't have.

My ability to affect, once in a great while, my own reality.

Catching Up

I have a pair of Bluebirds nesting in a brand new house I built just for them this Spring.  There are now five beautiful blue eggs just waiting to hatch.  Hatch date should be this Friday, 5/13/2011!  I check the eggs every day to make sure nothing has disturbed them.  The mama bluebird hears me coming.  If she doesn't hear me, I tap twice on the outside of the house and she comes flying out.  She flies up to the roof of my house and watches while I check her eggs. 

I can't actually see the eggs.  They are in a very deep bowl/cup that she has made in the top of the nest.  The only way I can check the eggs is by putting my little Dual Lens Kodak camera inside and taking pictures.  I work fast so mama bird won't get upset with me!

                      Bluebird House

These are Tree Swallow eggs.  There were four of them yesterday and I should find five today.  They are cream colored and smaller than the Bluebird eggs.  The Tree Swallows live in a gourd hanging on a Shepherd's Hook about 25 - 30' away from the Bluebirds and the Purple Martins. 
The Tree Swallows gave me many headaches when they first appeared in my backyard.  They wanted to nest in the gourds that I had prepared for Purple Martins.  They defended those gourds with their lives and chased away every bird that landed on the gourds.  Finally, I learned that if I made them a gourd of their own, 25-30' away from the gourd rack, they would nest in it, protect it, and also protect the Purple Martin gourd rack.  It worked!!  They still defend the gourd rack from other birds, not Purple Martins, and they fiercely defend their own precious gourd.  Another Purple Martin friend and enthusiast sent me entrance holes for the Tree Swallow gourd that are small enough for Tree Swallows but too small for Starlings and other predators.  I am so grateful to him!  Hatch date should be 5/20/2011

      Tree Swallow House

If you look carefully, you can see two Purple Martin eggs.  I think there is one more hidden underneath the two shown here because this is the third day of egg laying and there should be three eggs.  Today, I think I will find five eggs.  I didn't check this nest yesterday.  Didn't want to disturb the Purple Martin mama too much! Not sure what the hatch date should be yet.

     Purple Martin Gourd Rack.








I've been busy also planning two flower beds - one for my front yard and one for the back yard.  I love the planning and the results of a beautiful flower garden.  The work in between the "planning" and the "beautiful" is the hard part.  My old bones and joints aren't what they used to be!  When they are completed, and if I'm still 'young' enough to take pictures, I'll put them in my blog for all to enjoy.  (I suppose folks enjoy other peoples' flower gardens?)

When you get right down to it, it's always the planning and results we enjoy, huh?  Just as with the birds, planning for their comfort and well-being, and the flower beds, so with life! 

We plan, we work toward a goal or destination, and in the end, it's the in-between part that makes us who we are.

Baby Birds?

I lowered the Purple Martin pole today to check on all the nesting. 
Mama has been working hard to form a rich bowl
Of pine and hay and sticks and leaves.

Soon there will be little eggs, probably five or six.
But she doesn't rest, knowing that more work lies ahead.
She has to feed herself and sit on those eggs a while each day.

Just for them.

Do the baby birds feel her work and love?
Do they feel the careful attention to each turn
And curve of the protective bowl she makes?

Do they know how hard she's worked
To find just the right gourd on just the right pole
In just the right backyard with just the right protection?

Just for them.

When they hatch, there will be hungry mouths to feed,
Mouths that open as soon as she enters the nest
And don't close until she leaves.

Will they feel the love that it took to get them this far?
Will they trust her to keep them safe from harm?
Harm, that lies just outside that nest.

Just for them.

Yes, they trust her, for they know that mama's
Love and work and flight and food
Will make them strong inside the brood.

And when they leave, it's her they see,
Gently pushing them from the nest, the bowl,
Where her love used to be.

Just for them.

Memories - Blessing or Curse?

I think our memories are both ... a blessing and a curse.  At times, we gloss over the curse memories and embellish the blessing ones.  But, you know what?  I don't think it really matters.  They are OUR memories, they made us who we are today. 

When you get down the road a few years, you'll have memories that are made today and wonder the same thing - blessing or curse?

We need both.  We use both to plan our direction, to set our feet on the paths we want to follow.  Maybe we can just take the lessens learned from all memories or events and use them to make ourselves and our world better.

I would love to hear some of your memories. 

Just click "Comments" and tell me about the memories you would like to share.

I'll start:

I remember when my sister and I used to get up every Saturday morning to watch "The Big Top" circus on television.  We didn't have one of our own, so we had to go next door and watch on a neighbor's TV.  I think my love of the circus started then.  Circuses don't seem to hold the charm for me these days like they did back them, but they were enchanting, daring and exciting to a 7-year-old!

Quiet Time

I really NEED some quiet time in my day.  Actually, I need a lot of quiet time.  I don't get much of it, however!

Since my husband retired because of his health and I retired because I was tired of working, we are together 24/7.  This is way too much togetherness! 

Now, I 'm not saying that I don't like being with my husband.  I'm just saying that too much togetherness isn't, necessarily, a good thing.  I guess my point is that I'm not getting enough quiet or alone time and I need it badly. 

Without some quiet time, I can get very cranky.  Now, with very, very little quiet time and practically no alone time, I wonder how anyone tolerates being around me. Can anyone be pleasant all of the time?  There must be those saints out there who never give thought to their personal needs and only think of doing or giving to others. 

I'm not one of those saints!  I'm not a saint at all.

I could probably become a recluse.  I can very easily understand why some folks do seek a solitary life that is quite isolated.  I need quiet.  I need time alone with myself.  I don't know how to get it.

I'm a writer and need time to write, time to think, time to simply let my imagination run rampant.  Not getting that these days. 

I think I'm afraid I would hurt my husband's feelings if I took a day off to be alone somewhere ... anywhere, in a peaceful, quiet setting.

I also think that my heart is telling me to find a way to get what I need.  My hearts acting pretty crazy these days ... palpitations, etc.  Our bodies do tell on us when we don't tell on ourselves or when we try to run away from those things we really need.

I've always envied those people who practice meditation.  I've started it at certain times in my life, only to stop when it seems that I can't get the hang of letting go of my thoughts.  I understand that there's no trick to it, but ........... .

I firmly believe that if we don't, voluntarily, give ourselves what we need, our souls, our spirits, our minds and our bodies will suffer for it.

Now, let me think of all the reasons why I can't get this thing I need so very much.

1.  ..............................
2.  ..............................
3.  ..............................
4.  ..............................
5.  ..............................
6.  I don't ask for it.
7.  I'm afraid someone will think I'm selfish.
8.  Something terrible will happen while I'm away and it will be my fault.
9.  ......................................................................................................
10. I don't ask for it.

Change and Control?

Change and Control?  For some reason, I've had these two things going around and around in my mind lately.  I am a person who hates change and loves control.  Am I a control freak?  Probably!  I dislike that aspect of my personality, but I have to acknowledge that it is definitely one of my faults. 

I'm coming to realize that change and control are really different sides of the same coin.  Change frightens me and I try to control the events of my life so that I don't have to deal with it.  It never works!

I want to embrace change, to be able to say to myself that change is usually a good thing and that, when it's not good, I can deal with it.  The truth is, when change is not good, I'm forced to deal with it.  After all, what's the alternative?  I either deal with it and give up control, or spend a lot of time depressed and angry, fighting change.

I wonder if others have this problem.  I think it's probably pretty commonplace.  I would love to hear what you have to say about change and control in your own life.  Any good ideas for me?

I know that my faith and my nature battle over these two things constantly.

I pray that faith will win.  In spite of my nature and in spite of my nurture, faith has to overcome!

Doesn't it?

Having Fun!!

I think we grown-ups forget sometimes how important it is to have fun.  We get bogged down with our jobs, our responsibilities, our image, or our 'whatevers'.  Paying that mortgage, saving for the kid's college educations, and taking care of everyone else but ourselves takes precedence.  This is true, I think, for all of us.

When we do get a spare moment during our busy days, we can quickly find something to fill the gap.  Whether it's a new hobby, volunteering or sitting in front of the TV, we manage to fill every minute with "meaningful activity".

I find myself with projects piling up and wondering when the time will come to get them done.  Some of these projects are, yes, you guessed it, for having fun.  Like painting, taking pictures, or just taking a few moments to do nothing and listen to the world around me, WITH THE TV OFF.

One of my biggest time consumers, aside from keeping a house, running errands, taking care of hubby and yardy is, you guessed it, the COMPUTER!  I have to admit it, I love this thing!  I love what it can do for me and I love what I can do with it.  Without it, most of my communication with the outside world would fall to the wayside.  That's probably very sad!

Ok, I'm getting depressed now.  And NOT having fun!  You see what I mean? 

Back on subject.

We sit in front of the TV having vicarious fun.  It escapes me right now how MSNBC, 24 hours a day, qualifies as fun, but, you know what I mean.

Last evening, we played cards all evening with family.  Now that was fun!  We talked, we ate, we played.  Afterwards, I was worn out, but it was the best "worn out" I've had in a long time.  You see, my life is that unfun!

I guess the point of this is lost somewhere in the writing of it, but I think you get the point.  My life needs more fun.

I think yours just might need that too.

Think About It!

God creates,
Man waits.

Man creates,
God waits.

Life's Little Annoyances

I'm still awaiting the arrival of my Purple Martins.  So far I have Bluebirds and Tree Swallows nesting in houses that I've provided.  It's so reassuring to see the birds enjoying their dwellings and it gives me such joy to know that in some small way I helped.

I do still have some predator birds, namely Starlings, trying to disrupt this peaceful and joyous demonstration of life in my backyard.  They are not indigenous to the United States, and seem to only want to cause trouble.

I suppose that this, too, is a lot like 'life'.  I see the Starlings like the little annoyances that come into our lives each day, trying to disrupt our peace and do us harm.  I haven't learned how to out-maneuver these things yet, either in my yard or in my life.  Each day is a new lesson in balancing the beauty and overcoming the threats to our peace.

If I go outside and clap my hands or make a huge noise of some kind, the Starlings will flee.

I wonder if life's little annoyances would do the same thing if I made a little more noise?

Hmmmmmmmmmm....

To My Friend, Scott

I learned today that a wonderful artist, writer, human being and friend of mine is having to move, with his family, to a homeless shelter.  This is my email to him.  If you read this, please remember him in your prayers.  He's so very talented and a gifted human being.

Scott,
I'm so very sad to hear this news.  If I was wealthy I wouldn't hesitate to send you anything you need right now. 

Please keep the faith.  I know God sees and will not leave those who love Him and believe in Him to suffer.  This has to be a test of faith for you and yours.  I've been close to this edge at another time in my life.  He didn't abandon me and I know He won't abandon you.

I don't know why things happen the way they do sometimes, but I do know the One who does know every breath we take and every hair on our head.  I know He loves us and will not leave us.

Please believe and let us know, when you can, how things are going.

You and your family are in my prayers and will stay there ... until!

Love in Him
Kat

Spring Is/Was Here in the Valley!

It's been a few days since I blogged.  Sometimes the days just get away from me and, by the end of the day, I don't seem have a thought in my head. 

Another weekend has come and gone.  For me, Saturday was a day of just not feeling well.  I have Carpal Tunnel Syndrome in both arms/hands, but more pronounced in my right arm.  I had to take a break on Saturday because the pain was just too bad.  It's also allergy time in the Shenandoah Valley and my sinuses were screaming at me all day long.  I really don't like complaining, but sometimes it just helps.

Sunday was a gorgeous day here in the Valley!  Spring cried out to be felt and heard.  The birds in my backyard were abundant and singing all day long.  I haven't seen any more Purple Martins, but they can't be too far away.  I saw my first one on my gourds on March 8th.  It was so exciting!

Another sure sign of Spring was the opening of Willy's Ice Cream, located on the corner of West Main and Lew DeWitt Blvd.  The opening of Willy's is always a welcoming and delicious event.  I got there on Sunday to get my first Twist Cone and the lines were long.

I found myself just wanting to buy flowers to plant and paint to repair.  It's still, officially, late Winter here but Spring is making itself known, as Winter takes one last long, deep, breath.  A sigh of relief for the Maker of Winter and a burst of joy for the Creator of Spring.

In all things, give thanks!

And, I do.

A Blog a Day?

When I started this blog, I had the intention of writing a Blog a Day!  Thoughts of sitting here, putting thoughts to words on the computer filled my mind, like visions of sugar plums dancing through my head at Christmas time.

I see now how darned difficult it can be to write a Blog a Day.  There are the days when absolutely nothing of interest crosses my mind.  There are also the days when something of interest does cross my mind, but it just won't take form in words.  Then, there are the days when thoughts and ideas crowd my mind and there just isn't enough time to create the Blog that would express them.  At those times, I try to jot down words to remind me of what I'm thinking about.  I look at my notes the next day, when time allows, and see things like 'thoughts of yesterday', 'no one knew', 'what if someone knew', 'going too fast', 'ice cream and alligators!', 'things I would tell President Obama'.  Then, I can't for the life of me, remember what great and worthy themes were in my  head to produce these darn notes.  Some do look pretty interesting, huh?

So, today is a blank day.  Many things happened, but time is pressing.  It's dinner time and I haven't finished the laundry.  I cleaned the floors, but I haven't finished the laundry.  I'm tired as heck, but I haven't finished the laundry.

I think I'll go finish the laundry.

Tomorrow is another day. 

Notes for blogs:
fear of thunder
bad moods and other fairy tales
fabric softener on kitten fur
pet hair, yarn and string

What Do You SEE?

Another writer today reminded me of the ability to see, really see, the world around us.  As a result of a childhood taking care of an older sister, who had epilepsy, I  learned to be hypervigilant at a very young age.  I could tell by the expression on my sister's face when a seizure was coming.  This was important to know, especially since we were alone much of the time.  Where I went, she went.  Where she went, I went.  I could not leave her alone for fear she could hurt herself falling when a seizure occurred.  I also needed to summon help because she was older than me and bigger.  Yes, I learned how to read faces for pain, anger, intention, illness, emotion, safety and many more things.

I still practice this very important gift.  I consider it a gift because reading faces kept me safe at that time and many times later in life.  I also learned to be hypervigilant about everything going on around me.  That too, has been a true gift and blessing.  Even now, I don't/can't turn it off.  I see things that others miss all the time.  When driving, I'm always scanning the horizon, as well as the road ahead.  Yes, it can be done safely!

Why am I writing about this?  I think it's because I realize every day how fortunate I am to have learned this skill.  It was learned for self-protection and for  the protection of others.  I probably shouldn't have had to be hypervigilant as a child, but in my surroundings and environment it was a necessity.

As mothers, we learn to have that second sense where are children are concerned - especially when they are small.  I have, however, been with other mothers who did't seem to have the abilty to be watchful and vigilant with their children.  I worry about those children.

When I'm in a restaurant or at a movie or just out shopping, I see who is in my immediate vicinity and what activities are going on.  I see what people are doing, as well as what they are not doing.

Frequently, at the end of the day, all of this "vigilance" can be tiring, but most of the time I'm not even aware that I'm being vigilant.  Is this an acquired or inherited trait?  I don't know.  I am, however, very glad to have this skill and pray that I keep it as I continue to grow older.  As we get older, this skill is just as necessary and, maybe more necessary, than when we were young and supposedly "carefree".

At times, I wonder who's watching me?  Who's "care taking" me?

Oh, yes!  I know.

He who cares for that tiny little blade of grass also cares for me. 

If find His hypervigilance a true miracle.

Freedom vs Hatred?

Many memories of racial unrest, freedom and hatred, living side by side, flashed through my mind while working with my daughter on an assignment for college that she's doing on Ancestry and our experiences of racism.  It shocked me how many of us didn't question the separate restrooms, water fountains, movie theatre seats, bus seats, etc., when I was growing up.  Here in the south, it was just the way things had always been.

Until.

The words "integration" and "segregation" became part of our daily conversations in the early 60's and so did the name "Martin Luther King".  I was a young wife and mother in those early years and began to see how differently the world was going to be for my girls as they grew up.  I was glad things were changing.  I wanted to be out there, fighting the good fight also.  But as I took care of my girls and taught them differently than I was taught, I saw that I was doing "my thing" for the cause of equality for all.

Then came Betty Freidan and and Gloria Steinem and The Feminine Mystique and Ms. Magazine.  Again, teach your children well, as the song, by Graham Nash, goes.

Flash forward, it's the early 2000's, and hatred takes another ghastly toll.  We all remember where we were and what we were doing.  We also remember what we weren't doing.  We weren't watching closely enough.  We had allowed hatred to take root again.  This time from across the seas making it's way to our "peaceful?" shores.

Does hatred attract hatred?  I think so.

Also, peace must attract peace.  Right?

Teach Your Children
by Graham Nash

You who are on the road
Must have a code that you can live by
And so become yourself
Because the past is just a good bye.

Teach your children well,
Their father's hell did slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.

Counter Melody To Above Verse:
Can you hear and do you care and
Cant you see we must be free to
Teach your children what you believe in.
Make a world that we can live in.

Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picked, the one you'll know by.

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

A Nurturing Attitude?

I'm beginning to see how difficult it can be to write a daily blog.  As I go throughout my day I try to pay closer attention to all that I see and do.  To find the deeper meaning in my actions and the actions of those around me.  I'm seeing that this is a tall order for myself.

It seems, far too often, that I go through my days doing what comes next, without much thought given to what that may be.  Today it was adding more gourds to my Purple Martin rack and modifying an existing Purple Martin house that I erected last Spring.  Then there were groceries to buy, things to pick up at the hardware store, like a 4 x 4 and a Bluebird House.  I've noticed quite a few Blue Birds in my yard lately and wanted to see more, give them a home and watch them raise families.  They are such beautiful birds!

I digress.

There was a little time for computer work and now, time for my blog.  I suppose most of this day was about nurturing, and providing sustenance, for God's creatures.  The birds in my yard, the critters in my house (one dog and four cats) and, of course, me and my husband.

As I think about it, nurturing is a good thing.  It requires thought, planning and action.  Those being nurtured don't care too much about the "theory" of nurturing or about who took care that they were, indeed, nurtured.

Why did I do these things?  For myself? For those who needed these things done?  The answer is "yes" to these last two questions.

The next thing is my "attitude" while doing them.  Did I do them prayerfully or thoughtfully and did I give of "myself" while doing them?

This is what I reflect on at the end of the day. Yes, I did give of myself.  Sometimes, I'm sorry to say, I gave with resentment, because I wanted to be doing "other things".

I don't like this about myself.  I don't like being selfish, although there are times when one needs to be selfish.

I've learned, however, that the feeling at the end of the day, when I have done things with an attitude of helpfulness and a heart of love, is a feeling like no other. I pray that I will remember this tomorrow, BEFORE I start my day.

My prayer will be that the Creator and Giver of all things will grant me an attitude of love while living each moment and a prayerful mindfulness while doing the ordinary tasks that fill my day.