Sunday, April 24, 2011

Memories - Blessing or Curse?

I think our memories are both ... a blessing and a curse.  At times, we gloss over the curse memories and embellish the blessing ones.  But, you know what?  I don't think it really matters.  They are OUR memories, they made us who we are today. 

When you get down the road a few years, you'll have memories that are made today and wonder the same thing - blessing or curse?

We need both.  We use both to plan our direction, to set our feet on the paths we want to follow.  Maybe we can just take the lessens learned from all memories or events and use them to make ourselves and our world better.

I would love to hear some of your memories. 

Just click "Comments" and tell me about the memories you would like to share.

I'll start:

I remember when my sister and I used to get up every Saturday morning to watch "The Big Top" circus on television.  We didn't have one of our own, so we had to go next door and watch on a neighbor's TV.  I think my love of the circus started then.  Circuses don't seem to hold the charm for me these days like they did back them, but they were enchanting, daring and exciting to a 7-year-old!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Quiet Time

I really NEED some quiet time in my day.  Actually, I need a lot of quiet time.  I don't get much of it, however!

Since my husband retired because of his health and I retired because I was tired of working, we are together 24/7.  This is way too much togetherness! 

Now, I 'm not saying that I don't like being with my husband.  I'm just saying that too much togetherness isn't, necessarily, a good thing.  I guess my point is that I'm not getting enough quiet or alone time and I need it badly. 

Without some quiet time, I can get very cranky.  Now, with very, very little quiet time and practically no alone time, I wonder how anyone tolerates being around me. Can anyone be pleasant all of the time?  There must be those saints out there who never give thought to their personal needs and only think of doing or giving to others. 

I'm not one of those saints!  I'm not a saint at all.

I could probably become a recluse.  I can very easily understand why some folks do seek a solitary life that is quite isolated.  I need quiet.  I need time alone with myself.  I don't know how to get it.

I'm a writer and need time to write, time to think, time to simply let my imagination run rampant.  Not getting that these days. 

I think I'm afraid I would hurt my husband's feelings if I took a day off to be alone somewhere ... anywhere, in a peaceful, quiet setting.

I also think that my heart is telling me to find a way to get what I need.  My hearts acting pretty crazy these days ... palpitations, etc.  Our bodies do tell on us when we don't tell on ourselves or when we try to run away from those things we really need.

I've always envied those people who practice meditation.  I've started it at certain times in my life, only to stop when it seems that I can't get the hang of letting go of my thoughts.  I understand that there's no trick to it, but ........... .

I firmly believe that if we don't, voluntarily, give ourselves what we need, our souls, our spirits, our minds and our bodies will suffer for it.

Now, let me think of all the reasons why I can't get this thing I need so very much.

1.  ..............................
2.  ..............................
3.  ..............................
4.  ..............................
5.  ..............................
6.  I don't ask for it.
7.  I'm afraid someone will think I'm selfish.
8.  Something terrible will happen while I'm away and it will be my fault.
9.  ......................................................................................................
10. I don't ask for it.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Change and Control?

Change and Control?  For some reason, I've had these two things going around and around in my mind lately.  I am a person who hates change and loves control.  Am I a control freak?  Probably!  I dislike that aspect of my personality, but I have to acknowledge that it is definitely one of my faults. 

I'm coming to realize that change and control are really different sides of the same coin.  Change frightens me and I try to control the events of my life so that I don't have to deal with it.  It never works!

I want to embrace change, to be able to say to myself that change is usually a good thing and that, when it's not good, I can deal with it.  The truth is, when change is not good, I'm forced to deal with it.  After all, what's the alternative?  I either deal with it and give up control, or spend a lot of time depressed and angry, fighting change.

I wonder if others have this problem.  I think it's probably pretty commonplace.  I would love to hear what you have to say about change and control in your own life.  Any good ideas for me?

I know that my faith and my nature battle over these two things constantly.

I pray that faith will win.  In spite of my nature and in spite of my nurture, faith has to overcome!

Doesn't it?