Another writer today reminded me of the ability to see, really see, the world around us. As a result of a childhood taking care of an older sister, who had epilepsy, I learned to be hypervigilant at a very young age. I could tell by the expression on my sister's face when a seizure was coming. This was important to know, especially since we were alone much of the time. Where I went, she went. Where she went, I went. I could not leave her alone for fear she could hurt herself falling when a seizure occurred. I also needed to summon help because she was older than me and bigger. Yes, I learned how to read faces for pain, anger, intention, illness, emotion, safety and many more things.
I still practice this very important gift. I consider it a gift because reading faces kept me safe at that time and many times later in life. I also learned to be hypervigilant about everything going on around me. That too, has been a true gift and blessing. Even now, I don't/can't turn it off. I see things that others miss all the time. When driving, I'm always scanning the horizon, as well as the road ahead. Yes, it can be done safely!
Why am I writing about this? I think it's because I realize every day how fortunate I am to have learned this skill. It was learned for self-protection and for the protection of others. I probably shouldn't have had to be hypervigilant as a child, but in my surroundings and environment it was a necessity.
As mothers, we learn to have that second sense where are children are concerned - especially when they are small. I have, however, been with other mothers who did't seem to have the abilty to be watchful and vigilant with their children. I worry about those children.
When I'm in a restaurant or at a movie or just out shopping, I see who is in my immediate vicinity and what activities are going on. I see what people are doing, as well as what they are not doing.
Frequently, at the end of the day, all of this "vigilance" can be tiring, but most of the time I'm not even aware that I'm being vigilant. Is this an acquired or inherited trait? I don't know. I am, however, very glad to have this skill and pray that I keep it as I continue to grow older. As we get older, this skill is just as necessary and, maybe more necessary, than when we were young and supposedly "carefree".
At times, I wonder who's watching me? Who's "care taking" me?
Oh, yes! I know.
He who cares for that tiny little blade of grass also cares for me.
If find His hypervigilance a true miracle.
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